Balancing Sports and Life
How To Help Your Child Excel On And Off The Field
By Michelle Bourg
Whether it’s Pee Wee Soccer, Little League or “Friday Night Lights,” youth sports today may actually be our true national pastime, with lessons, teams and leagues available for children practically from infancy.
That’s a good thing. Studies consistently show that participating in sports improves children’s physical health, boosts their self-esteem, improves their academic performance and reduces their likelihood of engaging in risky behaviors.
Taking part in sports also teaches important social skills like teamwork, goal setting and resilience. It offers definite benefits, but demands parental involvement to maintain a balance with other aspects
of their growing up.
Preschool: Time for Informal Play
Until the age of 6 or 7, kids’ bodies, motor skills and powers of concentration are still developing. For the first couple of years of your child’s life, just getting outside and having fun together will give everyone plenty of exercise as you model an active lifestyle. At this stage, your job as a parent is to maintain a balance between the freedom of unstructured play and the structure of organized activity.
When your child is around the age of 3, you can introduce your toddler to classes such as swimming, dance, martial arts or gymnastics. Remember to keep the emphasis on fun and movement. Classes or games should be short and avoid emphasizing perfect technique or competition. Let your youngster explore different activities to maintain interest. If they’re not interested, just stick with informal play—there’s no evidence that participation in preschool sports enhances development or activity levels later in life.
Grade School: Getting Your Feet Wet
At around 6 or 7 years old, children are usually physically and mentally ready to begin participating in organized sports. Ask your youngster what sport he or she would like to try: They may already have a clear favorite, or want to play on a team with friends.
It’s a good idea during this period to encourage your child to try at least two different sports over the course of a year, being careful not to sign them up for more than they can handle. Try to make sure they choose activities that emphasize different skill sets.
Playing one sport exclusively can contribute to stress injuries and cause your child to burn out on sports and perhaps even physical activity in general. Mixing things up can lead to higher levels of athletic success. It can also help your child to learn new skills and interact with different groups.
When choosing a sport, consider your child’s physical and mental attributes. If he or she is on the small side physically, football or soccer may not be the best sport, at least for now. If they’re still working on coordination, tae kwon do or a “big ball” sport such as soccer may suit them better than tennis or softball. Quiet and reserved kids may prefer an individual sport such as swimming, track or golf to team sports, which can be rougher on young bodies.
Whatever sport your child participates in, competition should remain secondary to having fun, learning the fundamentals and, most importantly, staying active. However, this is also a good time to instill in your child the importance of commitment. Unless they’re experiencing genuine distress, ask them to play for a full season—usually only a few weeks at this age—before quitting.
As a parent at this time, you’re finding the balance between encouraging participation and forcing it. It’s good for children to have the chance to find a sport that they’ll enjoy, possibly for a lifetime. It’s easy at this age for kids to want to stop if things don’t gel right away, but listening to your child will tell you if they should try something else or walk away altogether. If that happens, accept it.
Middle and High School: Emphasizing an Active Lifestyle
Middle school is a critical time for determining if a child continues an active lifestyle. The character lessons that sports can teach, particularly when it comes to discipline and dealing with adversity, are especially valuable at this stage. What’s more, the camaraderie gives kids a sense of belonging. Student athletes also tend to have better grades, higher achievement levels and more positive attitudes toward school. A study in the Journal of Adolescent Health found that playing team sports in grades 8 through 12 can contribute to less stress and better mental health.
But this is also when demands on kids’ time ratchet up, and many kids quit sports, saying, “It’s not fun anymore.” Around 70% of student athletes quit by age 13, according to a recent report by the American Academy of Pediatrics.
If you’ve taught your child that sports should be pursued for fun and personal fulfillment, rather than as a competition or a path to a scholarship, your child may be less likely to walk away. But if they do, again, you should let them. The important thing is that physical activity remains a part of their life in some way, whether it’s intramurals instead of junior varsity, independent league play or just putting down the phone and the books to kick a ball with you on the weekend.
High school is the time to let your child take the lead in balancing sports and the many other priorities facing them on the threshold of adulthood. You may want to plan a calendar together at the start of the school year that includes games or tournaments, test dates, college applications and other obligations. But then step back and let them learn to manage their time on their own. If sleep, family time or grades suffer, then it’s time to step in. But learning to prioritize their goals and find a way to achieve them is the first step toward success, both in college and beyond.
Ultimately, you want your child to be healthy, have fun and build the character traits that help them succeed in life off the field. Keep this in mind and you’ll succeed in the balancing act that is parenting a young athlete.